#2 – of second chances and dating personalities

January 13, 2013 by isisauset 2 Comments

I had originally planned on this blog being filled with posts about my love life, in a chronological order. However, after I broke up with my (now ex-)boyfriend last night, I felt compelled to write a post about something slightly different. You see, I want to talk about second chances and about the three types of dating personalities.

Second chances are tricky and, in most cases, they don’t work out so well. The truth is, if you had to give someone a second chance, it’s because it hadn’t worked out the first time around. Yes, it’s by making mistakes that you learn, but in certain cases it’s not that simple. If it didn’t work out because of the person’s own personality, then it’s because you just don’t work out together, you’re not compatible. You can’t expect someone to change over you, just as someone else can’t expect you to change over them.

I was once told that, when it comes to relationships, there are three types of people: the ‘clingy’ ones, the ‘normal’ ones, and the ‘indifferent’ ones. For two whole years, I was in between the ‘clingy’ and ‘normal’ category, and I honestly thought it was fine to bother your boyfriend all the time with texts and wanting to be with him, and just generally obsessing over him. I was very dependent of him. Then, once we broke up, I radically moved to the ‘indifferent’ category.

And I have to say, the ‘indifferent’ category is the best. If you’re dating someone and they don’t give you a lot of attention, you don’t care, because you never really wanted it in the first place. It bothers you to constantly be ‘cute’ with someone, and you can basically do whatever you want without feeling any kind of remorse. But, of course, there is a bad side to it as well.

Sooner or later, you get tired of being ‘indifferent’. You want to feel what other people do, want what other people want, you want to date someone without getting sick and tired of them. The problem is, if you don’t date the right person, you get tired anyway. And you may not be in love with the not-right person, but you feel fond of them, and when the time to break up with them comes … you feel guilty about not feeling bad.

A ‘clingy’ person and an ‘indifferent’ person just don’t work out together. And no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that you’ll be able to find a point of equilibrium … you can’t.

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